motherhood reckons!

I should have done this months back but as we say "better late than never", I would want to share how life has changed drastically in the past 1 year...
October 30, 4:36 am, a new ray of hope, a new joy, a new life comes in to my life..with blurred vision instilled by labour pain I saw the tiny life which was a part of me. Its feeble wails had filled the room with happiness.
Now I could see my mom who sat through with me all night, my husband, my mom in law..all in high spirits! Next day we went home and then started the sleepless nights..the little bundle of joy was weak and needed constant attention and feeding. He recognised me by my smell. When alone I would cuddle him and tell him how important he was to me and how he had filled the loneliness and emptiness in my life. I came to know how demanding motherhood can be- sleepless nights, forgetting oneself, forgoing all that you are used to eating, forgetting all your pain, doing things you never ever imagine yourself to be doing (in my case being absent from my sister's engagement though it was happening a stone's throw away). Sis forgive me for not being able to participate in the biggest event of your life the way I should have done..But you still remain one of the most important parts of my life and wish you all the happiness in the world.
Now without digressing from the issue, after the initial very tough months it was tiem to play, to talk and to see my baby growing fast..so fast that it has become difficult to catch up with him! he is goin to be 7 months old very soon. since the last 2-3 days he loves to talk "tata, dada" etc..!! he loves to sit alone int he front seat of the car with the seat belt on and to watch and scream at the fishes in the aquarium!

the need of rural india

I had put up another poll on orkut but could not write on it since a long time. This may not be of interest to all as it is concerned with the development issues that the social sector is looking at. The “NGO community” members of orkut were the respondents to this poll. I took their opinion on what they perceived should be the highest priority of the social sector when it comes to rural India. The options to choose from were – mother and child health, livelihood, rainwater harvesting, HIV/AIDS & water pollution. The maximum votes went to livelihood (32 percent) while maternal and child health followed closely with 28 percent votes. HIV/AIDS was next on the priority list & water pollution and rainwater harvesting received least importance (10 percent).

My verdict on the poll results: They were very much up to what I expected.
Livelihood is truly the most important problem faced by rural India and all other issues mostly are interlinked to this aspect. If there is some source of income only then other issues in life can be thought about and dealt with. If there is hunger and lack of basic elements of life other issues always take a back seat. A mother and her newborn can be healthy only if they get adequate nutrition and follow good health practices. A man can notice the water pollution and unhygienic conditions around him only if his basic need of hunger and a respectable life is fulfilled. Several studies on HIV/AIDS have found out that its prevalence in rural India is again due to lack of livelihood only. Villagers migrate leaving their families behind in search of work and come back with the fatal disease infecting their entire family sometimes. Hence similar to the fellow NGO community members I also feel that livelihood generation is the most vital issue. I work on mother and child health related issues but always feel that it is best to integrate these components and adopt a comprehensive approach.

daily soaps: not that bad!

I have been thinking of writing on this since a long time..All of us (specially the housewives) are familiar with the "K serials" that fill up all the prime time slots everyday. Well let me confess after avoiding these soaps for years I have myself become a regular of atleast 2-3 of them. Thinking of what drew me to them I could come up with 2 v "feminine" reasons - one the get up of the females and two my own boredom! In between I always get to read how these shows are a real waste of time and how unrealisitic and vague is the story line of each.











The amount of critcism that these shows recieve should have successfully created a wave of protest and dislike for them. But the truth is these shows go on and on and on undettered and the list of "K" serials has increased so much that every channel you switch on you find some woman dazzling in a saree plotting and scheming and what not...but i have a different point to make..


I think there is indeed something positive about these shows that keeps them going. Atleast "something" has to be nice about them -

• They keep the women engaged - I guess if a survey is done among housewives who are alone all day, the prevalence of depression in them would be found to be reduced drastically as compared to the times when there was no Balaji Telefims or other such production houses!


• They act as reminders of our festivals- Now this is something I really appreciate about these shows. Even small festivals like teej (which is slowly losing importance) is depicted with such fervour and excitement that one feels like being a part of the festivities.


• Sitting at home you can know what is the latest fashion!! :))


• It has given employment to so many people who otherwise may have struggled and struggled and then got disillusioned with their lives.
• This is also a boon for the behind the scene workers who have guaranteed work and meals now.


• ???!! Can you think of more?

I am not here for some advocacy campaign FOR the "K" serials but the whole point was to make you see that nothing is without a purpose. If these soaps have been sustaining themselves for years there is definately something about them that keeps them going.

September 9, 2007

It was like any other day...just that 2 days were to go before the much talked of 9/11 day (not that it is related to the contents of my writing :)).

I was sitting on my bed watching TV after lunch..the little one inside me moving slowly as if rocking itself to sleep after a nice lunch with momma :)
Suddenly the movements got vigorous and I looked at my tummy ..what I saw was the most amazing site I had ever seen.

I could see my tummy swaying with the baby and could make out the patterns of movement!
Having discovered this it is always so much fun to look at my little angel move within me as if wanting to connect to me and to tell me how it is feeling in its "protected area"!

Now as time goes by and the dday gets nearer my eagerness to tuch and hold this magic of god increases by the day....

Deja Vu...

Standing on my terrace and looking at people moving in their vehicles or on foot is a usual evening task..Suddenly a red maruti and a white ambassador missed a fatal collision and resulting in a road side fued...This sequence of rather irrelavant happenings gave me a feeling what we call "Deja Vu"!!!
It happens a number of times that a quick sequence of events seem to repeat themselves or may be happen for the 1st time in your life but you feel as if you have been a part of it...its not new to u!
I find this to be very intriquing specially when I relate it to beliefs like reincarnation. This feeling of Deja Vu always leaves me surprised and wondering whether what I am thinking and feeling is right. And the interesting part is that it has not happened once but several times since the time of my childhood I can recall!
Tell me do you sometimes feel the same? Do certain events/happenings make you feel that it is not happening for the 1st time and you have witnessed it before?

Azim Premji's take on reservations

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation:
I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC , SC /ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly.
The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century.
We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player.
Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an OBC player.
Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.
Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.
There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's rec ruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country...)
Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country...)
Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIAforward... \
Let's show the world that INDIAis a GREAT country. Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...
May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH long live...

sad but true.....

Verbal autopsies are done to reach to the root cause of deaths of infants. Well a knotty thing to do! As soon as I came to know that this is going to be a part of our regular activities in the villages we are working in I chose to avoid it! But its said that the more you avoid a particular situation the more you are destined to be a part of it. I was assigned the task of field testing the newly designed verbal autopsy forms. This was not the same as any other field tests we conducted in the past because it involved instigating (in a way) the mother or whoever would be the respondent to relive the moments they must be trying hard to forget.
On my way to the villages I kept thinking how I would be able to break the topic. How would I ask a mother that I wanted detailed information of her child’s death? Finally I reached my destination and our field workers took me to the houses where infants had recently died. All around me I could see only females and they were so poor and malnourished that it made me wonder how they survived child birth! I asked the field worker to brief them on why I was there as he could communicate with them more easily in their language. Meanwhile I sat there feeling nervous and preparing myself for the denial and anger of these mothers who would ask me to spare them the agony of thinking about the recent tragedy that they had gone through.
But I was wrong….
I found myself surrounded by all these women the next moment. I could not believe they were actually looking forward to this session! One of them said her baby died 21 days after it was born. It just stopped taking feed and was dead within hours! She had a girl happily playing in her lap oblivious of whatever was happening around her. An extremely anaemic woman was sitting by herself in one corner and I was told she lost twin children within 2 days of their birth. Extreme poverty and malnourishment were written on her face. How could she have given birth and that too to twins and survived it all! The reasons for the deaths seemed to be directly related to the mother’s health status, her workload and rest patterns and nutrition intake.
While asking questions to her I realised that I was surrounded by many women now and they were very excited about whatever was going on! Many of them came forward and told me that they had also lost newborns. “madam mera bhi interview le lijiye. Iskey baad kuch honey wala hai kya? Sarkar se kuch milega ya aapke project se,”said a woman. I sat there totally numbed by the insensitiveness of the people around me.
On my way back I thought it was wrong to say they were insensitive. Actually life had been so harsh on them since they were born that nothing stirred them any longer. Facing troubles and sadness is a daily routine. They know they have to go on living bearing these hardships every moment. Sad but true…