We are the best!

Yet again I found the bucket in the backyard, the maid forgot to put it back in my bathroom after washing the clothes. While I could not help getting irritated I also realised there was no point in getting irked over the same everything everyday. You need to just live with it!

There are list of such things which irritate you or are to your dislike and yet you cannot do anything about it as they are bound to happen everyday. It is interesting to go through the daily list of such things :) In a regular day I live with-

1. Missing out on having a relaxed morning tea as some or the chore stands waiting

2. My hubby leaving the bathroom lights on

3. Dishes half laid on the table for lunch

4. The car not cleaned from inside

etc...etc...

Well the point is that there are so many nitty gritties in our everyday lives and its so amazing how women manage everything and that too so well! Men will surely be in for a disaster if women go on a strike! What will they do if they have bathed and find there towel is missing, they sit to have breakfast and see that its not served, they sit in their office and recall that the morning medicine was not taken...

We work, we care, we love, we give and yet we make all efforts to stay fit, dress up well and look good!

Yes we women are the winners all the way :)

Shalu's fantasies

Nidhi was playing with her 3 year old son and waiting impatiently for her maid. It was her husband’s birthday and a lot of cooking was yet to be done before guests arrived for dinner. The door bell rang and Shalu walked in. Nidhi noticed her dark lipstick, dangling earrings and new salwar kameez. “Anything special?”, enquired Nidhi. Shalu smiled and replied, “No you have guest coming , so I thought I should dress up for the occasion!” She laughed and went in to the kitchen.
At night Nidhi told her husband of how fashion consciousness and an urge to be at par with the world had penetrated even in lower middle class. Her husband was in agreement. As kids we never saw children of the house helps getting any education and today every person be it a daily wage labourer ensures that his child goes to school. It is a different matter what quality of education is received to these children or whether they work and earn for the family post school. Yet it is reflects the positive development of the community to seek education and hence seek a better life.
Nidhi started noticing that the maid tried to ape her in every possible way be it dresses, jewellary or make up, needless to mention the numerous phone calls she got. Shalu got increasingly difficult to cope with. She asserted that she could not cook any more as it hindered her evening “freaking out”. She kept demanding for increase in wage and Nidhi kept succumbing to her as she could not manage her little one and the household alone.
One fine day Shalu turned up and announced that she was leaving for “Dilli” with an acquaintance. She was extremely excited about her new life waiting for her- the big city, the lavish life, the salary etc. Nidhi let her go with a heavy heart but had no other option. With passage of time a new maid arrived. However Nidhi always thought of Shalu and wondered how she was doing.
The new maid one day brought news which almost choked Nidhi. Shalu was no more…………
The news was heavily reported in the media. She was yet another victim of trafficking from poor performing states like Jharkhand and Orissa. Abused, tortured and exploited on a regular basis the girl was made to work long hours. One day her owner beat her up on the pretext that “she had not worked enough for the day”. The beating was so severe that Shalu succumbed to her injuries. Today her parents can do nothing but lament her death.
The issue is not as simple as the want of a teenage girl to live a good life and experience all the joys that any well to do girl does. It is far more complicated which has led to a vicious cycle of such instances in the country. The poor states having very little to offer coupled with the big money and false promises are able to lure parents who send away their little children to far off cities from where they are never able to come back. Many work as bonded labours. The Government is struggling to handle the situation and yet finds itself ill equipped. The department of labour conducts raids and rescues these children but have no facilities of keeping these children in transit homes of their own. In many cases they have to let go of these children who ultimately return back to their employers and all the effort goes in vain.
It is time when we open our eyes and report any suspected cases of abuse and torture of house helps. In fact a recent survey has reported maximum cases of child labour in the form of domestic servants and we can make our contribution by reporting such cases.
Lets pray for justice to Moin, a 10 year old who was beaten up to death by his employer recently in New Delhi at a bidi factory…..

Girls this is for u!

Today being the world cup finals and seeing the excitement all around I wished to invite all my friends over and enjoy the match over snacks and drinks. This made me think that how lucky I am to have so many good pals when the world today lives behind closed doors..... have been working with this NGO for the past 5 years. Have made several friends all these years but the “girl gang” that we have here today is the best part about working together under roof. I call it a “girl gang” though 70 percent of us are above 30 and married with kids! Our enthusiasm and flair for fun makes us as young as a 20 year old college girl :) When I had joined CINI, there was a group of young girls freshly passed out from TISS and XISS and I had come back home from Delhi after working with Centre for Science and Environment (CSE). At CSE I had made friends for a life time and am still very much in touch with them and never lose an opportunity to meet them. Back in Ranchi I was not expecting the kind of crowd I actually across in my new office. Ranchi had also changed a lot (see my post- The changing face of Ranchi) and by the way Ranchi has come a step further from the time this post was written with a Five Star Hotel (Raddisson), a 4 star, International food fests, Dominos, the National Games complex, a new mall with 3 screen multiplex, 2 exclusive outlets of Satya Paul and many more… Well I love to see my town progressing! Coming back to the point…so I was having a nice time in my new office at Ranchi with the girls, shopping at Delhi and Bangalore and organising trainings at resorts in Puri. Then there was a lag phase, the girls left, I got married and then pregnant, and then my little one came like a spark in my life. As he grew up gradually changes kept happening on the office front with new people coming in and many leaving (we have a very high turn over rate). None of the new faces were exciting (specially the men!) and then like luck would have it suddenly the office was bubbling with girls! They were from Bangalore, Kolkata, Ranchi itself and from varied backgrounds with strong qualifications (Cornell & Columbia alumnus too :)). As we got to know each other better we found that we may not have much in common yet we all gelled along very well. Then came this idea to us that we should get together beyond office and have fun (of course getting out kids with us). Since then we periodically try and break the monotony in life with our outings and get togethers. Everyone in the gang has her own specialty from good cooks, to bakers, to homemakers, to singers, to number queens, to community workers and yes all of us are good dancers :) This girl gang too is destined to split some day, the process has already begun but I also know for sure that we will always be in touch and good friends. Isn’t it girls?

We human beings

Human mind is the most complicated of all. Had heard this but now as years are passing by and the mind is gaining �maturity that comes with experience� this fact has been vindicated by so many real life examples! I have also realised that females are much more complicated than men (sorry girls!!).
This is probably because of the social structure which permits men more space and freedom of speech as well as actions. A woman has to curb her thoughts and this suppression further leads to resentment, envy and negative thoughts. The best part is that its mostly a fellow woman who is responsible for curbing another woman�s thoughts!!
Getting to the point, there have been certain instances which makes one wonder why? I know of a female who is seemingly normal, pretty, has a good career and family life and yet there is something about her which makes me always think that she is not normal! I remember when I was going around with my current hubby and he had bought a bike. We used to go on his bike for long rides. Isn�t this something normal? Now what is abnormal is that this girl I mentioned started dating a guy and then came one day to specially mention that she went on a bike ride with her sweetheart and that the whole world was looking at them and marvelling at the perfectness of their togetherness and how happening they looked in the bike.
Another incident- while talking to a friend I happened to ask about A and B who were ex-colleagues and were about to marry. The friend said they never married. A had got arrested at the wedding venue as a girl landed up with the police and accused A of using her sexually in the pretext of marrying her. Today B lives a life of seclusion while A walks free. Today when I think of A I can never get myself to imagine he was capable of doing something so horrible. What kind of a living being would be that? Definitely not human!
Another one- this dear friend of mine sent across her pics from a wedding. She was looking just perfect, saree, jewellery everything and that too sans make up! Another girl C told her that she was looking okay and that her saree was outdated. Again one fine day C called my friend to ask where had she bought her jewellery from. My friend didn�t give any details and said that all her stuff is outdated, so don�t bother! And then here it comes.....a posting of pics that show similar saree and jewellery and an email of self praise to my fnd describing how C had stolen the show! Isn�t that weird? Would any normal person ever do something like that? Self praise and declarations of a happening life are only indicative of something more complicated and fake. Alas the world today is full of such people and their lives ROCK (though I am not sure how much is the reality)!

online shopping?

I might sound outdated but a few days back i "introduced" myself to the world of online "window" shopping as I never trusted or cared about what was making it such a big thing today. A friend of mine sent me a link www.fashionandyou.com. I was getting worked up with a project proposal and thought of unwinding briefly with this link (as there was no friend online to chat with and no interesting updates on FB!). The site was interesting with a lot to offer specially all the stuff thats not available in a small town ranging from designer perfumes to fake jewellary to western wear to lovely phulkari duppatas...
Chatting with my best friend I asked her if these sites were safe and whether its okay to shop online. She being a part of this communications business and being very well versed with the advantages and risks recommended to go ahead. She also suggested many new links like www.99label.com and burntsienna (the latter has lovely silver jewellary which are not available in my city at all).

I finally decided to buy some cosmetics from one of the sites but I dont know what went wrong with the payment gateway, it simply vanished after I hit the pay tab! My transaction was not approved. Then a few days later I tried buying books from flipkart and besides numerous attempts my transactions always ended with error messages. I have been browsing and window shopping but nothing has actually moved from the wishlist to my wardrobe! I wonder if my location has something to do with it or may be its some server issues. However I must say that I am amazed at the deals offered online and at the ease with which one can access all the stuff in the world with the click of a mouse!
Its really fun to be shopping sitting on my bed, doesnt exhaust me at all :) yet I wonder when my wishlist will turn in to real stuff that I can actually use.

A hilarious encounter

The other day I had a meeting with a very senior IAS Officer at his office in one of the departments of Government of Jharkhand. He wanted to the review the project for which I had been a short term consultant. He asked me and the nodal officer for project to wait outside for 5 minutes. That was when his PA “introduced” us to him as he has been newly appointed. The PA asked whether we had been asked to wait for 5 mins. and added that "you wont be called before an hour." He gave us a lot of extra information alongside like there has been no work happening since this IAS has joined and that he is an embarrassment as he does not take phone calls even of senior officials.
Everytime the man inside rang his buzzer we thought we would be called in and after a long wait we were finally called. As I entered I saw a man buried between loads of files and writing on a green note (government office speciality!) in a particular fashion with his fingers twisted at a certain angle. So horrible was the hand writing that even doctors would take pride on their handwriting. We were asked to sit and we waited in his cabin for another half an hour. It was in this half an hour period that I noted all the peculiar actions of that man and battled with myself to control my laughter. He gulped glasses of water in one go and then picked one phone after the another to fire someone or the other and the receiver somehow always refused to sit at the right place! At one point of time he got up and pulled his trousers up along with himself almost up to his chest (a la Boman Irani from 3 idiots)!
He suddenly looked at us and asked if I was the consultant named so and so. I said yes sir and then he was back in to his files. He tore off several pages from some of them and deposited them under his table. He shouted at his typist for poor Hindi language skills and then suddenly asked us, “yes tell me what is your business here.” Taken aback I wanted to tell him at that moment that its you wanted to have a review! However, I had to refrain from opening my mouth while the nodal officer took out another ragged file which was our project file. The IAS officer pulled out an ancient diary in which he had scribbled 1000s of numbers in his ugly handwriting and asked us for contact details of the project donors.
Then he perused the file and folded some pages to be photo copied for him. He then shifted his attention to me and asked where was I working since my consultancy period had expired. I gave him all the details. He then declared that the meeting was over (and so was the review!!!!).
I turned towards the door and he asked me to stop and interviewed me on my education, work experience and family background. He noted my number and asked me to leave. I was greeted by the PA outside who quickly asked me if I had been asked for my mobile number and provided free advise that I should now keep my cell switched off at all points of time (whatever it implied)!

a quick update

I am back after a rejuvenating trip to Delhi. It was official work mixed with some unwinding (and of course loads of shopping!). Got to meet friends who are more than just friends and the best people I have ever met. The biggest surprise package was my ex-roomie landing up in Delhi at the same time for office work. Our get together needs special mention because it happened after a number of "adventures" like changing of the venue at the last hour and me not knowing about it!, standing in queue for getting entry in to the mall (ever heard that before? i hadnt!), escalators not working, lifts taking ages but finally we got together and I m sure all of us cherish every moment of it. This time our kids were with us and they enjoyed too!

Back in Ranchi my deputation to the government has ended and I am back to CINI. The biggest learning is the apparant difference in working with a good NGO and the government, the former being enthusiastic over every encouragement recieved from the latter while the latter waiting for the former to make things move for them!